The how-to-date-a-dancer post?!
I think all that has some insight to it, or have tried to seek it out, agrees: Dancers world are a very closed one. That is actually one of the facts that inspired the whole Tights and Tiaras blog in the first place – an insight to the life of a dancer, right? Anyway: Dancers tend to hang out mostly with other dancers, and may be hard to get in touch with from someone outside the world of jumps, turns and whatnot. Whether it is watching a movie, going for a beer or out on a date – dancers seem to pick their friends from within the same community, thus also ending up dating other dancers.
Quite frequently, I am asked about dancers romance lives by the readers of Tights and Tiaras. Are dancers always dating other dancers? And why is that?
Marie Pierre and Kenneth Greve are a famous dancer-couple. And there are plenty of examples of dancers ending up with other dancers. But is it always like that?
Well, first of all, that’s not completely true. As Steve from You Dance Funny pointed out to me on Facebook, theres the gender-balance: Statistically, there are way more girls that dance, than boys. Although one can hardly blame dancing men for picking their partners from within our own ranks (after all, ballerinas are HOT!), the girls are going to either have to share the men, or find partners elsewhere. That said, not all dancing men picks their partners in the dancing lines, either. In my company, at least three of the guys are dating girls completely unrelated to ballet.
Still, I think one can say in general that dancers tend to stick together. Maybe it’s because we can be hard to stick it out with, we need someone that understands our crazy ways. When I asked my twitter-followers for do’s and don’ts when dating a dancer, the answers I got were all related to a “all or nothing-mentality”, and to be prepared for our almost ritual routines. And I guess there is some truth in it. When doing something, whether it is about eating, working out, or maybe just doing something completely different than dance, I always think about how it will affect me as a dancer. I love to ski, and was invited for a skiing trip this winter that I totally wanted to do. But then, I had a premiere just after the trip were supposed to be held, and I had to cancel – the risk was just too high. If I were to fall and hurt myself, even just a little bit, that would affect the premiere, and I wasn’t willing to take that risk. And whenever I’m asked out for a beer with my non-dancing friends, I have to go home in time to get up for class tomorrow morning (unless of course tomorrow is off, in which case I am the last guy home, just to compensate). For some people, the fact that ballet always comes first can be hard to handle, especially if it means the dancer part of the relationship is making choices different from the ones the partner would make…
“Get to the point”, right?! How to date a dancer?!
In the end, dancers are as different from one another as members of any other community or jobs. One may find certain “truths” that tend to fit for most dancers, but then you meet a dancer that is the exact opposite. This is not going to be a “how to catch a dancer” post, even though I know many of you would it like to I guess you just have to go up to the person you have an eye for, and talk, whether it is a dancer or not. It could help to hang in the theatre bar after a premiere though, just to increase the odds of you “randomly” meeting. And a tip: When you do, don’t go with the “I guess you are really flexible”-line for an ice-breaker. It’s old, and quite frankly, a little pervy.
Oh, and read up on ballet. As much as I hate to admit it, there is one topic that dancers LOVE to talk about: Dance. So do your home-work, read up on Tights and Tiaras (the Bedtime Stories should give you a good start) and happy hunting!
Recently there has been lots of lists flying around the net with ’10 reasons to date a dancer’ and the like. But I don’t like them, so I wrote my own: Five real reasons to date a dancer
In fact, this topic is interesting! So behold, this is just the beginning. Keep your eyes open for a new collaboration post with Rebecca King of the Miami City Ballet on dating dancers soon. UPDATE: Here it is!!! Did you read our Virtual Pas de Deux? It’s also on partnering, although a slightly different form See you soon.